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Monday, Aug 31st, 1998
LPBs Abound In the world of Quake (the multi-player computer game) there is a type of player called an LPB. This is the acronym for Low Ping Bastard. In Quake (as well as many other games) if you have a faster modem connection you can move faster, see faster, shoot faster, and generally run around other HPB (high ping bastards) in circles. This clearly gives the LPB and advantage. I have seen some LPB players behave with the utmost respect for the game, for others, and for themselves. They have contrived to play without abusing the unnatural advantage they have simply because they happen to be born into a family with faster internet connections and lower ping.

This is not usually the case. Unfortunately in the vast majority of cases the LPB flaunts his or her power and uses abusively against other less fortunately players. Why does this sound so familiar? Could it be that the internet multi-player game is not the first place that accidents of power are misused as weapons against others? We'll let you ponder that question for a bit.

Friday, Aug 28th, 1998
Doing what you want to do. The trick to being able to do what you want to do is to want to do what needs to be done.

Thursday, Aug 27th, 1998
You be the Judge This in from AM News Abuse - Colonel Pascal Gbah, 49, of Africa's Ivory Coast army died  instantly when he donned and tested a 'magic belt'  supposedly endowed with the power to protect him  from bullets, as long as he abstained from sex while  wearing it. He had handed his own service pistol to the  son of the belt's maker to try it out.

Was this because the belt doesn't work, or perhaps the Colonel had sexual thoughts, perhaps it doesn't work against the users gun, or maybe the belt relies upon the malicious intent of the shooter and in this case the shooter meant no harm. You be the judge.

Wednesday, Aug 26th, 1998
"Dead Elvis, What does fairplay have to do with survival?" I was actually asked this question the other day. Why someone would bother asking a dead guy a question about survival beats me. It's like asking a divorcee about marriage. We can remember the issues alright -- they just don't relate in the same way they did before.

Personally I don't think fairplay has much to do with survival. Evolution seems to have this totally schizophrenic approach to survival -- either it cares nothing for the individual or everything for the individual. Groups and group dynamics endup being measured in terms of either species survival or survival of progeny that can beget progeny that can beget that can beget. Lots and lots of beget seems to be natures obsession. If fairplay has a role in all of this that's fine. For me I prefer to address the whole subject not from that point of view. It spoils the soup even before the vegetables are chopped. If your survival is at issue then you start the journey with your attention already focused in the wrong direction -- you have it focused upon yourself. Unless you can redirect your attention outward to consider others the issues of fairplay and hospitality will have little practical relevance to you. And if you can redirect your attention outward to consider others many of the issues of fairplay and hospitality will answer themselves.

Monday, Aug 24th, 1998
A Letter Recently I recieved the following letter:

Dead Dead Elvis,
Why are you so weird?

Signed,
Wondering

At least that is the gist of the communication. A few superlatives have been removed in the interest of brevity and censorship. What was my response to the above letter? Here is a copy:

Dear Wondering,

Why aren't you?

Signed,
Dead Elvis.

Friday, Aug 21th, 1998
Dear $#&$*(#@ It may come as a surprise to some of you that I have standards -- weird standards, but standards none-the-less. I do my best to filter hateful and sarcastic material from the postings. I also file the pre-pubescent early attempts at using "bad" language into the cyber circular waste-bin. Early on I discovered an interesting thing about postings: "the current postings attract the future postings."

This may not seem like a major realization to you. But then again maybe you aren't dead. So, even though I don't make up the postings I do filter out the one's that don't contribute. In some cases a posting won't contribute but it will fall into the category of "mostly harmless." Generally these are left.

There are however, posting that will clearly stimulate the attention of other would be gutter poets. It's hard enough to turn ones attention toward the subtler aspects of something. No point making it even harder by leaving distracting garbage around. Sometimes all it takes is the will to throw out a small piece of garbage and the persistence to keep at it for a while to clean up an attention that may be totally caught in the mud pits.

Thursday, Aug 20th, 1998
Dead Elvis Sitings Dead Elvis has been sighted all over the internet. Now, turn about is fair play. Dead Elvis is siting his favorite sites. Okay, some of the sites are not among his favorites. Some of the sites are just odd-ball curiosities that he either thinks we should know about or he just wants to poke fun at. In either case these sitings are guaranteed to be educational and amusing.

Wednesday, Aug 19th, 1998
The Great Golf Test I've never claimed to be great on the uptake. But sometimes my dull-wittedness astonishes even me. It wasn't until yesterday evening that it finally dawned upon me why the Japanese businessmen are so keen on golf. One's first assumption on why people would do business while golfing is simply because they are idiots. This maybe a satisfying thought to some but it falls far short of the mark in terms of inclusive investigation. With just a little further digging one can get past the "because they are idiots" explanation and break into a whole new realm of understanding.

This happened to me quite by accident. When it did I was shocked to discover the potency of golf for quickly gauging one's friends and enemies. Few activities have the capability of cutting to the chase as effectively as golf. For example the reaction of a player when they hit a ball into the rough is very characteristic of how they will behave in a tight business situation. Do they blame the wind, the club, the coughs and sneezes of other players, the sunlight, the starch in their shorts, anything at hand? In short do they spend energy directing their disappointment out into the world onto others or do they take another track. I can tell you that in my business I would prefer working with those that don't look to blame others first. Maybe the player after a particularly disappointing turn of events throws his clubs into the lake. We see enough jokes about this to know it happens. I wouldn't want to do business with that person. And if they cheat? Forget it. I don't care what the business opportunity is. If they shave points on their score I wouldn't jump into financial bed with them for anything. A man that shaves golf strokes is probably not above any other depravity as well.

Hence, I think golf is the obvious quick method to determine the character of a future business partner. So maybe those Japanese business men aren't just being stupid afterall.

Saturday, Aug 15th, 1998
Site Map Nearly Finished The site map is basically finished. We've uploaded a primliminary version to the website.

Thursday, Aug 13th, 1998
Site Map Started I've begun work on a new sitemap for DeadElvis.com. I'll be borrowing the design from the one at Newbie dot Org.

Wednesday, Aug 12th, 1998
Video Games and Their Effect #5 Posted for your amuzement and edification is a piece about Video Games from August 5th. Thought I'd let it ripen for a week before I posted it.

Saturday, Aug 1st, 1998
A Joke From A Friend Don't ya just love it when a friend thinks of you and sends along a funny? I do.

A guy is walking past a big wooden fence at the insane asylum and he hears all the residents inside chanting, "Thirteen! Thirteen! Thirteen!"

Quite curious about this, he finds a hole in the fence, and looks in. Someone inside pokes him in the eye.

Then everyone inside the asylum starts chanting, "Fourteen! Fourteen! Fourteen!"

Friday, Jul 31, 1998
DeadElvis dot Com Yes, the dead guy has a web domain. His very own address along the internet Highway.

Wednesday, Jul 29, 1998
News from a friend A little birdy sent me this news update. Thanks! "New 3d game from LucasArts: Grim Fandango. With Jedi Knight's release just around the corner, it seems only fitting that LucasArts has announced its next major project for the PC, Grim Fandango. This 3D graphical adventure is being developed at the hands of Tim Schafer, the man who brought us Full Throttle and Day of the Tentacle. Fandango, which is due to release next spring, takes place over the course of four virtual years. The story surrounds the trials and tribulations of Manny Calavera, a travel agent in the Land of the Dead. LucasArts tells us the game's four-year saga "intertwines the themes of classic film noir with exotic mythology of ancient Mexico."

Friday, Jul 24, 1998
Dead Dorothy Comics Isn't being dead grand, when you can log on to the internet and with a couple of clicks of the mouse find yourself at Dead Dorothy Comics? Yes, my friend and fellow dead personage, Dead Dorothy, has been convinced, cajoled and swindled into submitting comics to the BardoTown Gazette. If you enjoy a wry sense of humor and a taste for the odd, do take a look.

Tuesday, Jul 21, 1998
Museum of Dirt Isn't life grand when you can log on to the internet and with a couple of click of the mouse find yourself at The Museum of Dirt? If this site did not exist I would have been forced to create it. As it is I can turn my attention to other projects such as the International Clothes Pin Museum or the Belly-Lint Showcase. Actually I don't think the Belly-Lint Showcase will work because I doubt one can get an import-export license for belly-lint. So if any of you are interested in helping out on the International Clothes Pin Museum let me know.

Monday, Jul 20, 1998
Dead Elvis Runs a Banner In a grand experiment to see if there is any way to incorporate online advertising into a publication, Dead Elvis is trying out a banner broker. They look to be relatively straight-forward. And one does have the option of picking the banner to host -- rather than having "anything next on the carousel." So we shall see.

Saturday, Jul 18, 1998
DeadBurt Comics Online Under alter-ego General Xxaxx the DeadBurt Comics are coming to life -- a trifle odd since they are about "some dead guy."

Friday, Jul 17, 1998
BardoTown Gazette Emerges With the advent of its new design, the satire eZine BardoTown Gazette emerges as one of the funniest dead-zines on the web. You can find it at http://www.slimeworld.org/bardotown/. Click on by for a visit.

Wednesday, Jul 15, 1998
New Section Added To Dead Elvis Site? Now for your reading and viewing pleasure is the picturial version of "Dead Elvis Sightings." Actual photos of yours truly, Dead Elvis, in various sightings.

Thursday, July 9, 1998
What's the world coming to? I just don't get it. I was reading through the news the other day and what do you suppose I see? Some kid hot-to-trot to prove his manhood in a warped ego trip killed a pregnant woman and cut off her head. That's right this little sicko cut off her head as a trophy. He gave the severed head (hair intact) to some woman who was helping him on his sick quest.

Making matters worse, vials of her blood were collected for use in other bizarre rituals by enemies and friends alike.

This is yet another example of hate crimes on the rise. This Perseus dude along with the help of some cult leader Athena went after this poor pregnant woman simply because she was a little different. Okay, so she had snakes growing out of her head. I've seen worse hairdos on Regis and Cathy Lee. This poor Medusa woman had just as much right to live a life of peace and bring her two children, Pegasus and Chrysaor into the world without such horrific circumstance. I'm sure these kids have been emotionally scarred for life.

If these "right to lifers" want to get on a band wagon, maybe they can do something about the wanton killing brought about by this senseless hate.

Monday, July 6, 1998
This news bit from AM News Abuse explains the sudden increase of pissed off blind guys wandering around in the bardos.

This from the NY Times News Service: Admitting his  0-4 record is not impressive 'on paper,' trainers  announced that 'Lucky,' a German shepherd guide dog  for the blind in Wuppertal Germany, is available for his  fifth owner. Lucky led his first owner in front of a bus,  killing him. And the second off the end of a pier,  drowning him. He nudged his third owner off a railway  platform in front of the Cologne-to-Frankfurt express,  killing him. And he walked his fourth owner into heavy  traffic, abandoning him to be hit and killed. The new  owner won't be told of Lucky's record - they say the  dog might sense nervousness 'and do something silly.' 

Wednesday, July 1, 1998
Video Games and Their Effect #4 is posted. This is the one that promted the series. The other essays were background and buildup to help set the stage for this little nugget of experience from almost one month ago. Sometimes a good joke or story requires an appropriate setup.

Tuesday, Jun 23, 1998
A new letter by Dead Dorothy. Again at her ol' tricks of channeling the big WWW (wicked witchy of the west).

Monday, Jun 22, 1998
Major overhaul of Dead Elvis web pages. If you are reading this then you already know that some major reorganization of these pages has been underway. Much more to come. Enjoy!

Wednesday, Jun 17, 1998
Video Games and Their Effect #3 is posted. In the second installment the palpable experience of being-to-being contact was discussed. Now, we'll address group work.

Monday, Jun 15, 1998
Video Games and Their Effect #2 is posted. In this second installment the palpable experience of being-to-being contact is discussed.

Friday, Jun 5, 1998
Video Games and Their Effect #1 is posted. The first time I noticed in a way that was clear and unmistakable the power of video games to effect behavior was with the game Zelda.....(and it goes on from there)

Friday, May 29, 1998
Curriculum Morti Preliminaries From the cards and letters coming in, it is obvious that this little subject has piqued the attention of several folks. Catch the next installment
Friday, May 22, 1998
Curriculum Morti #3 Before we can begin the process of categorizing items into either Curriculum Morti or Curriculum Vitae we should have some idea of which is what is where....
Wednesday, May 20, 1998
Curriculum Morti #2 Previously some broad hints were given on how to start. Let's get a little more specific....
Thursday, May 7, 1998
Curriculum Morti When a boss wants to know sometime about a prospective employee they ask to see a curriculum vitae. A curriculum vitae details the stuff what you been doing in your life that you believe describes your current state of readiness for the job at hand. Well, the curriculum morti is no different -- except in this case the stuff what you is being asked to relate is not details of your vitae (life), but rather details of your morti (after-life).
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